Dreaming again

I've been scanning through my diaries from 2006, 2007 och 2009. Funny how I longed for some things, and found them coming true, just when I wanted them most.

For instance, in 2006, I wanted a permanent job. And I got it through Sigtunabygden.
In 2007, having a career wasn't enough. I wanted my own family. That same year, I became pregnant by accident and got married. That was almost an impossibility considering that Marcus and I broke up and he had definitely no intention of taking me back.
I remember asking God to give me happiness, and He gave me Tuwa.

In 2008 - although I didn't read it anywhere, I simply remember it - I wanted to have peace of mind. I wanted a clean slate. And that year, God helped my family through a big crisis. We - Tuwa, Marcus, and I - made it with flying colors. There were threats to Tuwa's mental and physical health. But we made it. And Tuwa's even so much smarter and stronger than what was expected of her. Her pediatrician - both in Sweden and the Philippines (Tita Doc) even commented that she was advanced for her age.

In 2009, I was ready to come back to work after a yearlong maternity leave. I wanted to be Sigtunabygdens culture editor, and I got the post. The first official culture editor of the newspaper. I get to interview artists, authors, etc - both big and small - and I love it! Although I get a little envious sometimes. For I also want to be an author.

And I think that that what ails my heart nowadays - the longing to be an author. I want to write a bestseller. And I want to write that bestseller 2010. Will I finish it then? And will it be a bestseller? Only God can give me the desires of my heart.

But what kind of book will it be? All I know is that it has to have a meaning. And after watching Avatar, I get inspired. The book has to have a message. The main character has to have principles. The book ought to inspire. Or to inform.

I wish.

When I came to Sweden, many people discouraged me. They said it would be difficult for a foreigner like me to become a journalist in this country. But I made it in a few years. I went to one of the best journalism schools in the country, I got a job as a reporter for the prestigious Swedish broadcasting company. Although I didn't get a permanent job there, I was blessed to find a permanent job elsewhere - at Sigtunabygden. I will remember this chapter in my life to encourage me to dream on.

I have become a journalist, just as I wanted. Now I want to be an author. An author of a bestseller. So help me God.