Yup, I finally had the time to check out the papers in my white boxes. And 75 percent of these papers were trash!
Since I got suddenly pregnant and suddenly moved to our current apartment and gave birth to an active and clingy (now I say clingy in a positive and loving tone) baby girl, I never had the chance to do anything else but to work in the office and work with the baby. So I had all these papers!
Anyway, regarding the papers that matter - I got a warm feeling as I looked at a list of old classmates at JMK, mamma-friends, salary sheets, bank papers, certificates, diplomas...
Old friends and looking back at how I started...Funny, for back then, I worried too much about the future, cried a lot because I was afraid of a bleak future. Every thing that I have now seemed back then an impossibility, considering that I had and was nothing.
But somehow, I seemed to be at the right place and the right time. Some people call it luck. I call it God's grace. It is true that what you ask will be given to you, if it is good for you.
Oh I can tell a story of miracles - of God's grace unfolding right before my eyes. And I will here and there in this blog I call notebook.
Now to be honest, I am not too sure if this is the best I can get out of life.
Because I have other spontaneous desires - like showbusiness and politics. There were several times I could've made it in these branches, and therefore stay in the Philippines.
I remember that in 1986 and 1987, there were talent scouts who asked me. But I said no.
I remember that the Binays back in 1992-93 were talking about forming me to be the vice mayor, once Jun-Jun becomes mayor. We were very close back then. But then miscommunication and immaturity broke our bonds of friendship. But surely, had I stayed, I could've continued with politics in my town.
But had I worked in showbusiness and politics - will I have the same peace of mind and happiness that I have now? For often - peace of mind makes a happy person more than power and fame.
Power corrupts, whether we like it or not. Power change people - even the good ones. It's like the ring in Lord of the rings - it brings out evil in people.
I don't want to be evil. I don't want to walk on people's feet - the way it's often done in Philippine poltics - and betray trusts and hold grudges. I don't want to amass wealth because of under-the-table deals. I don't want to lord over people.
When I was politician - I wanted changes. I wanted a library in our barangay. Give means to educate youth in computer. Have activities to keep youth away from drugs. I had so many other dreams...but often they were laughed at.
I remember an older politician once said to me that I was a dreamer. And that my dreams were not realistic.
I almost believed in him until I came to Sweden. For here in Sweden - all my dreams were already a reality.
Yes, I will perhaps never be famous in my lifetime. But I will always be free. And "freedom", mind you, is often worth more than gold. Because with freedom comes peace of mind and happiness. I will never be sleepless, knowing that I did harm to anyone. I am free from evil - what a life!
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